As 2011 winds down to a close and 2012 starts to peek out from the horizon my nature is to get introspective. Thoughtful, deep, and contemplative. But I don’t have much to think about. At work someone posed a question on a whiteboard. They asked us to name the most memorable part of 2011. I couldn’t think of anything. While there have been wonderful moments, hard moments, challenges, joys, sadness, and every other emotion you can think of, nothing stood out exponentially.
This made me a bit sad. Yes, seeing Bronwyn’s joy brought me immense happiness, or having a great date night with my husband was fun, or etc etc etc, nothing STOOD OUT.
This is my greatest regret for 2011. However this may just be a natural consequence of not having a huge life-changing event for the first time in a long time.
2005- my life turned upside-down, and then right-side up again when I met my future husband late in the year (maybe someday I’ll write about this year in my life, it’s a rabbit hole that I don’t know if I will ever be prepared to fully explore).
2006- fresh into a whirlwind romance, but plagued with health troubles culminating with being diagnosed with a faulty gallbladder the night before Christmas Eve (oh yeah, after an ER doc earlier in the year told me I was wasting his time, the one who didn’t find the 9mm gallstone at the neck of my gallbladder). Started speaking with my family again after we had a falling out, my older sister got married and probably the biggest factor was my last remaining (and the one I was closest with) grandmother passed away.
2007- fresh off gallbladder surgery, I headed off to Hawaii for the first time 6 days post-op, yes for reals. I got engaged in Hawaii, setting off a year + of wedding planning and settling into my new role as fiancée. We moved into a new apartment shortly after coming back from Hawaii. Oh and I started a brand new career in an entirely new field.
2008- the BIG one. In the midst of wedding planning we decided to oh BUY A HOUSE. Yeah that would do wonders for one’s stress levels. After a lengthy delayed closing we had ONE day to move. Keys acquired April 29th late, and we had to vacate our apartment April 30th. Oh and in August we got married, no big deal. If that wasn’t enough of a roller coaster of excitement we decided to adopt a dog one month after marriage.
2009- rolled in with a bang. We had a fab time celebrating new years. We made big plans to start working on a family in May of 2010. Planned trips to San Francisco, Las Vegas, and San Diego. Realized after a wild Cinco de Mayo our family planning was off by a year and we were pregnant a full year ahead of schedule, shortly after Steven turned 30 and I turned 28. We were 6 weeks pregnant and due in late January 2010. Spent the rest of 2009 growing a human, while attending my 10-year high school reunion, celebrating our first wedding anniversary with my parents (we were visiting them for my reunion so we had a great dinner out with them that night), and everything else to prepare a small human to enter your world.
2010- HAD A BABY. Stressed the eff out over a natural/not-natural birth/breastfeeding/formula ETC ETC ETC. After a traumatic birth I returned to work and had a traumatic pumping/breastfeeding saga. But really? HAD A BABY is probably enough to explain 2010. Oh yeah and I hosted my Mother-In-Law for 5 weeks (with a 5-6 month old) (the first time I had met her) and my Brother-in-Law and his wife for the first time for 4 weeks at the end of the year.
2011-???? I can’t think of a single thing that was as monumentally life-changing as the above events. I didn’t lose a body part, gain a new relationship, have anyone close die. It’s like I don’t know what to do with myself without an insane amount of stress going on.
Now that I have laid it all out there maybe not having a memorable moment it is not a regret. This was year I started taking back little pieces of me. I don’t exactly know who I am after all that has transpired in the past few years. Would anyone after 7 years of insanity after insanity? I picked up a dSLR at the end of 2010. I’ve started learning about photography and plan on exploring this as a hobby for a long time to come. I have started realizing that whether I’m blogging regularly, writing is an essential life function. For me it is like breathing or eating. I need to do it. I crave the act.
I have a new project in the works, in my head, that I am not ready to share all of, but at the core will facilitate bringing out the me that is buried under all the roles that I hold. It is something I can’t wait to share with everyone, but I need to flush it all out and bring it to fruition first.
I’m looking forward to what 2012 might bring and my only wish for now is that YOU might go on the crazy journey with me. Because although 2011 may have been mundane, my history proves that this is the outlier, and excitement is burgeoning on the horizon. Lets do this together.