You Mess With The Gays?

15 Nov

I have found the cure to “the funk”, it is outright ANGER. It is your ideals and utmost core beliefs being challenged. Today that happened.

My mama taught me some really good advice. Religion and politics have no place in polite conversation. I try to abide by this even within the blurry lines of online communication. I bite my tongue when I don’t have anything nice to say. I stick up for what I believe in WHEN, AND ONLY WHEN, I can do so in a respectful manner. On the few places my “political affiliation” is requested, I often make a tongue in cheek remark about being a “cynic.”

If I don’t feel 100% sure in my beliefs, I hold back. Because I will not, and cannot, allow myself to be caught up in a fight that is not my fight. For the record? Fiscally conservative, socially liberal. That fiscal conservatism is pretty damn conservative. That social liberalism, pretty DAMN liberal. I am a woman of converse beliefs. And I will fight to the death for them. And this is the FIRST time I have laid it all out there. I’m so willing to lay it on the line I’m about to reveal that I voted for Bush. Two times. In a row. That is what happens when someone tries to rock your beliefs. All of a sudden you want to shout them from the (excuse my French and frankness) MotherFuckingRooftops.

So you are probably asking yourself right now, what could have possibly brought this out in Eileen. If I hadn’t lived today, I’d be asking myself the very same thing.

It all started with a post my friend from Tara Bites Back posted on her personal Facebook page. It was an AHMAZING editorial from the Huffington Post. It was titled My Gay Lifestyle. Please read it. Or the rest of this post may not make much sense. I found it a completely amusing satirical editorial on the state of affairs of Gay rights and culture. I posted it to my personal (not blog) Facebook page with the commentary of “Giggle giggle. Love this little piece of satire.” I posted it with the “satire” disclaimer only because I KNOW people follow me on Facebook that do not share my liberal social beliefs. I often think twice, although I should not, about these sorts of topics because of those people. I won’t name them, but I can rattle off easily the exact people I know do not agree with certain beliefs I have, and that causes me to hold back sometimes. Or put disclaimers on things I post. That will be no more.

The response I got from a High School classmate was for me linking the editorial was, and yes I quote, “yuck.”

I will not use all of the expletives that went through my head when I read this. There was a subsequent conversation between friends of mine and this person that further proved that the person meant their ignorant and hateful comment in exactly the method I was afraid it meant. They then proceeded to say further rude things. They’ve been DELETED since this.

Later, since I had made this link and post public, someone else decided to expand upon “yuck” with a “this is disgusting.” Yes, another quote. After an entire comment string about how if you can’t disagree respectfully, keep it to yourself, this second person had the BALLS to say that the article was “disgusting.”

You know what is disgusting? Ignorant sumofabitches.

I fully respect and honor the rights of people I interact with. I respect their right to remain quiet and not divulge their beliefs. I will not force them to reveal what they are uncomfortable in revealing.

I fully respect and honor the rights of people I interact with. I respect their right to shout from the rooftops what the believe, even if I do not agree or support them.

I fully respect and honor the rights of people I interact with. I respect them when they share quietly, or sporadically, what they believe with me, even though I do not agree or support their beliefs.

What I do not respect or honor? When you come to a person’s space and spew hatred and ignorance. It is okay to disagree, but do not go to one’s home and throw stones. Do not say off the cuff remarks that are hurtful to that persons friends and family.

I posted this on Facebook after I decided I had to block the commenters that brought out the anger in me.

Until today I have never out right blocked someone. I have unfriended or hidden them, but today I have had to.

If you disagree with me, fine. If you want to share your disagreement, fine. But if you come to my page to spew hate or share disgust with others you don’t agree with? I will not hesitate to block you.

We all have our opinions, and that is what makes us each unique, but don’t forget we have to live with each other. And I would NEVER spew hate on another person’s page for their life choices when they are within the confines of the law (ie I’ll spew hate about Jerry Sandusky all day long), and would ask that anyone who is friends with me, or knows me in any way does the same.

I will continue to share things about gay rights as I see fit, and if all you can say to that is “yuck” or “that is disgusting” I will keep my finger on the block button without hesitation. Or feel free to click the unfriend button yourself. You don’t have to agree with me, but blanket derogatory remarks like that will not be tolerated.

When you disagree, craft a respectful and fact based remark. Otherwise, take it to your own space. Your own Facebook, or your own blog. If you don’t have a blog it takes 30 seconds to create one on a plethora of platforms.

And here in lies my lesson for Bronwyn. I will fight tooth and nail for you to have your beliefs. Even when they are not the same as mine. I will support your voice in any way you want it. Whether it is quietly, or as loud as you can shout. All I ask from you is to respect other people’s beliefs. You do not have to agree to be respectful. Just remember that part of your God-given right as a human being is to believe whatever you want to believe, but the other half is to not infringe on the rights of others to believe what they want to believe.

The lesson I learned for myself today was it is not okay to sit idly by while someone belittles your beliefs. I am proud of the way I handled the situation. I did not lower myself and call the person names, I merely pointed out that their derogatory remarks were not welcome in my space, but they were welcome to disagree with me respectfully. I know I have let things slide because I was afraid to speak up. Today, I did not let that happen. And I would be remiss to allow this to happen in the future.

And if any of my beliefs are in question? Just know this belief will NEVER waver. Gay is OK.

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  • Kris Mulkey

    You go girl! Proud of you for standing up for what you believe on.

    • Kris

      Ugh, Believe IN (damn auto correct.)

    • Anonymous

      Thanks Kris!

  • Susan Cooper

    I ABSOLUTELY support your post. To many times we mistake freedom of beliefs and speech as meaning one can spew hateful and hurtful comments at worst or rudeness and inappropriate language in the least. Allowing for the differences of beliefs is important but that means we MUST respect that same right in return, whether we disagree or not, in a respectful way.
    Susan Cooper

    • Anonymous

      Thank you Susan! And thank you for commenting. You are right, there is a difference between freedom of speech and spreading hate. I am not ok with the spreading of hate in any form.

  • Rebekahleonard

    Good job momma! I agree with my whole heart! I hope your righteous anger didn’t keep you up too late. And I’m glad it helped de-funk you!

    • Anonymous

      Not too late. Writing it out helped me :)

  • Amy {babybabylemon}

    I completely support your post and yet again am grateful that I just don’t seem to have these types of issues on facebook. I also am not bold enough to make things public. I’ve noticed that the from facebook comments on news articles seem to be the most ignorant. I wouldn’t want that sort of vile hatred on my wall. Good for you for blocking.

    **You might want to check your google ad settings. I noticed a political ad at the end of your post for some WI republican. I did a quick search and not only is he anti-gay marriage, he is against same sex couple hospital visitation rights, which is the most pointlessly horrible thing I have ever heard. He’s also being recalled. (feel free to delete this part of the comment)

    • Anonymous

      Eek, I’ll check my google ads. I only have them on feeds (I think) so I mostly forget about them. I have never had an issue like this before.

  • Lillystomper

    “…..If I don’t feel 100% sure in my beliefs….” exactly! im not overly opinionated, not becasue i dont care, but because i care to much. its easy to just throw out an sorry that more ppl wrote and commented negatively. you know what i have a strong opinion on? that those ppl are not really satisfied or content with there own life. i am able to except almost everything and everyone, because my life is so good, i want everyone else to have an excellent life as well.

  • Andrea of Care to Breed

    Amen.  And very well said.  

  • Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]

    You KNOW I’m shouting this 1000 times YES!